A Huge Disconnect

The theme of this month's BlogHer NaBloPoMo is CONNECT.  I signed up for July, knowing this, but what it's made me realize is that I feel really disconnected right now.  I have no regrets about the move to Seattle.  I think I've just put too much on being ready to go straight away...after a long-ass, complicated, incredibly expensive, draining move.  That's rather silly, now, isn't it?

Truly satisfying connections are generally of the long-lasting variety.  I have met a lot of amazing people in the short time that I've been in the state of Washington.  I've laughed a lot, hugged a lot, made plans a lot, and found common ground with quite a few people.  I'd even say I've made some actual friends.  But all those connections are either obviously tenuous, or could still prove to be.

This is something we don't have to think much about until we get into, or past, a certain age range.  So, nearer to forty than ever, I've found that I kind of wish I could take the easy path of already having firm connections in my area.  Instead, I'm going to have to really work for it.

The good news is that sometimes an event happens that brings people together quite quickly and easily.  In my case, we had a power outage tonight and I just happened to already be sitting on my patio, reading a book.  Several of my neighbors came and went during the hour or so that the outage lasted and we all talked to each other as if we'd already met, or even known each other for a while.  We had a common problem, it was that simple.  And it was fun chatting with people from my patio and getting to meet their kids or pets while they were out in front of the building.

The opportunity here is that I can now figure out if any of my neighbors are people I want to have more of a connection to.  Even if I decide that I don't want to have weekly dinners with them, this is the first time in my life that I really recognize the value of actually getting to know the people you share an apartment complex with.  Whether it's in case of an emergency or the simple loveliness of being able to say hi and have small chat with nice people, it is worth some extra effort.

I have doubtlessly spent too much of my life relying on my close circle of friends (who now all live far away) and/or social connections at work.  I still have the latter (and I'm grateful for it), but if I'm not working, it's better that I'm not completely cut off from PEOPLE.  Lest I become a hermit (something I'm quite good at, but would prefer not to pursue).

True connection is not easy.  It may sometimes feel effortless, but be not mistaken - it does require getting off your ass and doing something if you want it to be lasting.  More so if you want connections with other people to add value to your life.  Because that means you have to find a way to add value to theirs.