Day 31: And done.

I had so many good ideas rolling around in my head throughout the course of my day...but I didn't write a single one of them down.  Now they're just snippets, like wisps of cloud, floating off into the ether.  Ah well, when you have nothing left to write about, there's always writer's block:

My lord, there are a lot of books on this subject.  My own theory is that if you actually force yourself to write something, anything, you'll eventually get to where you wanted to go.  What gets in the way is that we procrastinate, we insist on writing about only one thing, we insist on sticking with one project instead of letting ourselves drain off the excess so we can get back to where we need to be, and we believe everything has to be absolutely perfect, then freak ourselves out that it isn't just right and therefore shouldn't be in print.

It is all in our heads.  You may say, "Well, duh."  But that's not what I mean.  It's not that you have run out of ideas or have lost your creativity.  You're just being stubborn and/or afraid and, really, a pain in your own arse.

I believe that what we want to write wants to be written. I believe that as I have an impulse to create, the something I want to create has an impulse to want to be born. My job, then, is to show up on the page and let that something move through me, in a sense, what wants to be written is none of my business. 

- Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

I have to remind myself when I get in those moods to just sit down and write anything that comes, even if it's the same sentence over and over again.  As long as my fingers are moving on a keyboard or I've put pen to paper, I'll be fine - I just need to keep going and I'll get there.  Regardless of where the current "there" happens to be.

In other news, I feel that I have successfully finished this month's NaBloPoMo and beaten my own writer's block for the past 31 days (with exception of those two days that we won't mention, eh?).  I have really enjoyed being a part of this project and have just decided that I'm going to sign up for February's NaBloPoMo, but since I'll be spending a lot of time thinking about future moving plans, I don't know that it will be daily.  More on that in tomorrow's post!

Unless the dentist drugs me and I end up sleeping all day...

Day 12: The Logic of Fear

This was going to be a Lost in DC post, but it's really more about fear, in general, than about the one I've just conquered.  And I've discovered over the years (though I always deny it in the moment) that fear is the thing that most gets in the way of my writing.  Sometimes I don't want to understand the situation I'm in and don't want to deal with the pain that writing about it can bring about.  But in the end, it's always better to get past it, to suffer momentarily in order to figure it out and move on.  Perhaps I'm also afraid of moving on in some situations, afraid of what that means.  Having to accept harsh truths or, worse, give them to someone else.

Fear does serve a purpose.  My fear of driving on the Capital Beltway (I-495) was completely justified - it is a crazy, backward, traffic-ridden highway and, between the recklessness of some drivers and the confusion that the roads themselves cause, I do not blame myself for avoiding it whenever possible.  However, I decided to take it to and from Alexandria the other day to overcome my fear.  If for no other reason than not having to worry about being terrified of it should I ever accidentally end up on it.  The simple fact is, if you're living in or visiting the DC Metro Area, you are going to end up on The Beltway at some point.  The same interstate highway that Americans have been fearing getting stuck on since 1984.  Better to be prepared for the insanity than to be the one causing an accident.

Historic Photo National Park Seminary Bounded by Capitol Beltway (I-495) Linden Lane