Old Habits

I honestly don't know where to start, so that's what I'm starting with.  Nothing prolific, quotable, inspirational - just hopping back in.

BlogHer's NaBloPoMo signup email for January went out this week and, although I still don't feel like writing or know what to say on here, I know I'll regret letting this go any longer.  No matter how much an artist loves their art, there are dry spells.  Successful bloggers work through them at all costs.  I admire that, very much, but this was never really a business enterprise.  As much as I love writing and I really enjoy blogging, I never aspired to be the next Pioneer Woman or get on staff at HuffPo.  While this keeps me from feeling like a complete and utter failure, I still don't want to let LostGirls fade away.

This started with me, but it was always meant to be a collaboration.  And despite having all these people in my life who would probably love to have their voice heard on here, I haven't been making the effort.  For god's sake, I haven't even asked.  So the lack of my writing isn't the only problem I have to solve.  I have to get other people involved again.  I hope Meg and Mary, possibly even Seth, will want to stay involved, but I really want other voices on here, too.  I have so many great conversations with people, especially people much younger than me, and I'd really like to share them with you.  Not the conversations - the people.  They have so much to say, but they're not necessarily going to sit down and create a blog to say it.  So I guess my New Year's resolution will be to motivate myself and others to be a part of this site again.

I hope you'll bear with me here - when you've had writer's block and you've allowed it to stay a while, there is a period of time when the new writing ain't that great.  Another resolution for me is to allow myself shorter pieces.  This isn't Tumblr, so I don't feel like we should only have short posts.  But I recognize that I need to mix it up a bit.  And that not every post has to have a picture.  If we manage to simplify without losing meaning, maybe we can get a post per day on here.

So here's to the short and sweet.  And to New Year's resolutions that we actually intend to keep.

- Jess

Losing It and NaBloPoMo

So I decided not to sign up for NaBloPoMo via BlogHer for the months of April and May.  Which isn't to say that I don't desperately need to stick with writing regularly or that it isn't a great tool - it's actually been amazing to be a part of it.  Unfortunately, I failed to keep up with it in March due to training for a new job and a wealth of overtime.  Excuses, excuses, though - I simply couldn't keep up with everything the way I wanted to and it just gets harder the longer you leave things.

So instead of participating by putting my posts up there, I've been participating by continuing to read the posts that other bloggers put up on the site.  The diversity in writing styles and subjects is inspiring.  Many of these bloggers have supported me, even though LostGirls has been hit or miss with posting.

And because I know that it's only going to keep getting harder and my writing will continue to suffer the longer I wait, I will be signing up for June.  And doing everything I can to make it, and LostGirls, work.

In other news, I found myself thinking of a shop I wanted to go to today, then realized that it's several thousand miles away in Virginia.  I've now lived in the Seattle area for about a year and I still have flashes of other places I've lived.  And yet, I revel in the fact that I live here.  I don't recall having been happier anywhere else, yes, even in winter.

When and Where

Today's prompt from NaBloPoMo on BlogHer: When or where do you feel most like yourself?

While I do tend to prefer staying at home when I'm not working, it's when I'm traveling that I feel most like myself.  I get so into the experience that I don't think about how others see me as much.  Not that I spend too much time thinking about that, but I have my self-conscious moments and/or times when I'm trying to behave (at work, mostly).  When I travel, I'm just doing and going and enjoying every moment just as I am.  I don't pause to think about being comfortable on my couch at home, I just want to get out and do things and see what I can, while I can (meaning, while I don't have to worry about being at work the next day, running errands, doing chores, etcetera).

Voices in My Head

Today's writing prompt:

How is your writing voice like you?  How does your writing voice differ from you?

I have always been told that I write exactly the way that I talk to people.  I take that as a compliment, since I'm guessing it means my writing isn't stilted or dry.  But I do think I'm a hell of a lot funnier and weirder in person.  I also edit the heck out of my writing for this blog, because it's not just about me.  Which I know is a funny thing to say what with this month's NaBloPoMo theme being SELF.

The Theme of SELF

I've been focusing on travel posts lately, in preparation for my Spring trip to Italy.  However, I am trying to recommit to NaBloPoMo via BlogHer for March and the theme is Self.  So, on days when there are prompts available, I'll try to write about me.  That should really be the easiest thing to write about...right?  Well, this was actually kind of hard and I felt like I was looking back on every time I've worked a retail job and had to say one interesting thing about myself at orientation.

Tell us five interesting things about yourself:

1.  I worked as a 911 Dispatcher for six months.  I was top in my class for all the tests, but it turned out I just do not have the personality for that job.  Evidenced by the fact that I did a lot of crying in my car after shifts.


2.  People always think I'm at least ten years younger than I actually am when they meet me.  I can't decide if it's thanks to having oily skin all my life (few wrinkles) or if I'm just obviously quite immature.


3.  Before going to Italy to visit Mary a few years ago, I'd never been out of the continental United States.  Which is precisely why some of my travel posts this month will be interviews with other women who are much better traveled than I.

4.  I was the only female in three generations born to my dad's side of the family (the side I grew up with).  Luckily, one of my cousins and his wife recently started the fourth generations with a baby girl!  Thank you, Paloma, for joining my previously one-woman sisterhood.  Cousinhood?  Sure.

5.  I have a tattoo on my right shoulder blade, but that isn't the interesting part.  It's the fact that I always forget that I have a tattoo there until someone else notices it (on the rare occasion that I wear a tank top).  And I'm always surprised.  ((sigh))

Reconcile

Over the years I believe that I have become more capable of seeing things from various perspectives.  Even when I get pissed off these days, I'm usually pretty good at keeping it to myself, taking a deep breath and considering where the other person is coming from.

My parents are total opposites, but one thing they have in common is that they have both always encouraged me to take a step back from my own feelings.  To problem-solve instead of creating conflict by only thinking of myself.  I feel I benefit by each of their views on the world and the people in it.  And I feel like I finally, after many years, have met that challenge of not just thinking about my own view on things.

I am also very lucky in my friends.  Whomever I call with a problem won't just take my side, they'll try to help me understand.  Granted, there are times when you just want someone to commiserate.  But as I've grown older and seen more of the world, I feel like it's a lot healthier for me to gain more understanding, to try to see why people act the way they do.  In most cases, just realizing that the issue isn't what you thought can help you move past it.  And forgiving people, letting things go, does you the greater service anyway.

So here's the not-so-great part.  As hard as I try to understand other people...  As much as I want to move forward...  I have a friend I can't quite forgive.  Trust that was broken in a very strange way.  And even though I'm not actively angry, I can't reconcile my feelings with his.  It's crazy that you can miss someone so much, but feel like you just can't let them back in.  With all the perspective this life has granted me so far, it's quite sad to not be able to just forgive someone whom I love so much.

Which leads me to the conclusion that perspective doesn't always solve problems.  While I'm glad to have it, sometimes the hurt isn't so easily healed.  I feel like I should be ending with something more positive, but sometimes things end badly.

Sometimes things are

just what they are

and nothing more.

Reconsider

February's theme for BlogHer's NaBloPoMo is Perspective.  I write about this a bit already, but I'm more than happy to devote a month to it.  I say that as if I've written every single day for any of these months.  Le sigh.  All I can promise is that I will write when I can and I will endeavor to do it daily.  While I am happier when I write every day, I'll be honest - I only publish half-ass posts on occasion.  I usually spend quite a bit of time writing, re-writing, talking to Meg and Mary and Seth about the topic, etc.  And I like that process.  I enjoy everything that goes into LostGirls.  But I recognize that I do need to work on being able to write a quick post on the day's events/current prompt/current subject/what-have-you without dissecting it, then putting it back together.  It's a hard habit to break.  In honor of this month's theme, I'd love to hear someone else's perspective on the matter.  Hope to hear from you, whomever ye may be.

Oh, and this month is also a chance to work on my photography.  Something which I'm not terribly good at, but that just means I could use the practice.  I don't have anything today, but I'll work on it!

Jess

Let's Play a Little Game

"This is a Facebook game to see who reads and who just scrolls."

Okay, stop right there.  So...what you're saying is that your post is just a game to test the bounds of our friendship?  My initial reaction is...disgust.  Then a sort of wow-it's-not-worth-it.  And finally wondering if it's PMS or I really should be as annoyed by this post that is making the rounds these days as I currently feel.  I mean, wasn't I just saying how being positive always works out better?


The story here is that one of my Facebook friends, whom I have known since elementary school, posted something that is actually easily summarized in this one paragraph that she wrote:

"We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. If you appreciate your friends from all over the world, go ahead and copy this into your status too, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me."  ~Unnamed Facebook Pal

Anyone who's been reading this blog during January knows how I feel about social media and all the things that can and do go wrong on it.  While I still partake, I am becoming increasingly aware of how unhealthy some people's attachment to the forum is.

On occasion, the aimless negativity has gotten so bad that Meg is thinking of throwing in the FB towel, as it were, for good:

"We need a new social media platform.  It seems like every 5 years or so they just get really stale and are over run by....I'm not sure what...people that have no life?  It's like what once was fun and creative...is just routine.  The whole point of social media for me is to share and interact creatively.  I do real friendships and routine life...in my life.  Not online."

I'm with Meg.  I'm not willing to be taken emotionally hostage by someone who hasn't been in my life physically for over twenty years.  There won't be any unfriending, but I'm also not responding to that post.  Not at all.  Referring to it as a game, followed by the assumption that it will prove one way or another if I'm a good friend didn't really help.  Of course, this wasn't a personal attack on me.  I'm just offended for everyone who has a message like that on their wall.  

Here is what I know of friendship.  I no longer live where I grew up, so I often go long periods without seeing most of my longtime close friends.  But when we do manage to catch up with each other, whether it's in person, by phone or thanks to Skype or FaceTime, it's like nothing changed.  The trust and love are still there.  I don't ask for them to prove anything to me, I know they're my friends.  I'm not bummed if they don't read my blog or post to my Facebook page.  Sure, it'd be nice, but they have lives that they're living and I don't feel that I get to make those kinds of demands of them.  Furthermore, I'm grateful that they don't make them of me.  

We are adults.  We are all living very different lives.  And we are secure in our friendships.  I am so thankful for them.  When one of my friends calls me out of the blue because they need something and they start apologizing for being out of touch, I always tell them that we're friends, we don't have to be living in each other's armpits to prove it.    

Maybe you have a different perspective on this and can shed some light.  I think Meg and I are both open to having a better understanding of this behavior.

Repurpose

I have been trying to get creative with my living space - finding new ways to use what I already have, since I really can't afford to go to IKEA or The Container Store every week.  Nor should I be doing that, but it's been a hard habit to break.  However, I have discovered two things.  First, that all that pinning on Pinterest actually does serve a purpose, just like I hoped it someday would.  Second, that my own spin on the things I add there seem to work better for me.  I am really not good at following instructions, you guys.

So here is an idea I had that came from one pin, but inspired me to take things a step further.  This Apartment Therapy pin (which can be found on our Things to Consider board) features a bit on putting sheet metal at the back of your bathroom cabinet so that you can put magnets up and organize certain items.  I had quite a few Cube Mighties that I wasn't doing anything special with and those suckers are strong!  So I put a couple in my already metal-tastic medicine cabinet and stuck tweezers and a small pair of scissors in there.  They're slim enough that they don't interfere with the contents of the cabinet and it's way better than hunting for them on the top shelf or in a drawer.

Then I remembered that I once used dry-erase markers to leave myself reminders on my bathroom mirror.  I decided to reinstate that fabulous idea (below left) and put up a couple of inspirational quotes in the cabinet.  Since this is a rough month for thinking positive, I also noted upcoming plans with friends to remind myself of things to look forward to in the short-term.

All this took was a cheap pack of dry erase markers that already had magnets attached (though you could easily glue on your own).  The ones pictured above were picked up at Target and I love that they're mini markers that hang from little chains with magnets on the end.  But the ones that Amazon offers (to the right) are even fancier - they are double-sided, so you get more color variety while saving space, they have erasers on every cap, and they still come with magnets if you don't want to buy those separately and stick 'em on.

Aside how horrible that picture turned out and how much it reminds me that I need to clean my bathroom, I'm a bit proud of myself.  The point is that, aside from actually using some of the pins you spend all that time organizing on Pinterest, let them inspire you to look around and see what pin-worthy ideas you have rockin' about inside your brain.  If you like Pinterest as much as I do, you've probably got a fair few just waiting for discovery.

Release

There is a fine line between trying to make a better life for yourself and wasting the life you have by wishing for something else.  Bemoaning your circumstances may be an occasional inevitability, but if you are spending time every week wishing and hoping and dreaming, but never doing, then chances are you will never get any of what you want.  Or, even worse, when it finally falls into your lap in some shape, you won't have any appreciation for it.  There's a good chance it still won't make you happy.  Everything we strive for requires effort.  And more than just a little.

I have a good friend who, by living his life the way he does, has managed to inadvertently teach me how not to live mine.  It's a bit of a sad thing, really.  I wish him all the best.  What I'm really wishing for him is that he will someday appreciate where he is in his life.  He is one of those people who is constantly in a grass-is-greener mode.  He has convinced himself that what he has for a life isn't nearly good enough.  And he is always looking for the next best thing.  He is impatient for things to fall into place, angry that they haven't, and too blinded by all that impatience and frustration to see what he has right in front of him.  He's even admitted that there's a chance that he'll just never be happy.

It isn't about looking at someone "less fortunate" and being grateful for the roof over your head (though that doesn't hurt).  After all, there are quite a few wealthy people who are utterly miserable.  I know a few myself and I am not remotely jealous of their lives.  I may barely make ends meet right now, but I'll be damned if I'm not happy anyway.  Even on the days when I am emotional and moody, seeing someone I like at work can wipe that right out of my head.  What amazes me more is that I have somehow found myself thinking, "Enough of this, do something productive and you'll get past it."  Crazy how well that works, but it works because I choose for it to work.  Sounds nutty, right?  I'm actually doing it right now.  And the moment I set my fingers on the keyboard, I knew I'd be okay.  I knew that the sadness that was starting to take a stab at me wouldn't be able to hold its ground. 

Some what-ifs are better
left to daydreams, of course.

Look, there is nothing wrong with wanting more out of your life.  There's nothing wrong with wanting a better life for yourself.  But there is something terribly wrong with not living the life you have with at least appreciation for all that you have worked for and all that you have been given.  As for all those dreams you have, what are you doing to make them happen?  Even if it's something small, it's still something.



So as I said before, everything in life requires effort.  And I'm okay with that, because when all of my hard work pays off in even the smallest way, that success is so much sweeter.  And the failures that come here and there, no longer seem insurmountable.  Scary, sometimes, yes.  But life is about constant change and change can frighten us if we allow it to.

Now I have a question, especially for my fellow NaBloPoMo-ers, since we do have a theme to go with this month.  Do you feel like the worst pressure on us is that which we put on ourselves?  I do wonder.

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house.  Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.  

                                                                                                ~Robert Frost

Recoil

If you ever want to see
how being kind to
someone can change
them, please read this.

I've written before about the kindness of strangers.  It is something I believe in and I try to practice myself.  I believe that, despite my occasional evil moments, it is better to live a kind life whenever possible.  Sure, I rant to myself on the freeway here, but I still let people in when they want to merge and love it when I get a wave in the rearview (merging does seem to be an issue in Seattle).  I am not just kind to people because I'm hoping it will come back around to me.  And I'm certainly not kind because I want to be some selfless heroine.  I believe those small acts of kindness on a daily basis add up to a better life for me.  And it's amazing that I might be making someone else's life better, or at least a little easier, as well.

Don't be grumbly, you guys.

But more than that, the small petty acts that occur on a daily basis are poison to the soul.  Not only do you run the risk of making other people feel bad about themselves, you are doubtlessly thinking less of you every time you do it.  Rave all you want about how you're such a badass and you don't care, but it is having an impact on you.  You may not see it now, hell you may not see it ever, but trust me - it is definitely there.  

I suppose there is a fine balance.  You can't give your all and receive nothing in return and you can't constantly be editing yourself for the sake of others.  You do have to keep your sanity, after all.  We all need moments to vent.  We all have bad days.  But I think that being unkind never really works out in our favor.  Being thoughtless doesn't help, either.  We live in a social media-heavy world.  Unfortunately, a lot of people on Twitter, Facebook, and the like seem to believe that there are no consequences to what they put out there.  

I had a friend tell me yesterday that it's his life, his Facebook page and it's no one else's business.  He's not entirely wrong.  But it is his choice to post something that he knows will hurt someone else.  And there are repercussions to hurting your friends, even if it seems silly for one to say that he or she was hurt by something on someone else's Facebook page (oh, the horror).  I don't mean this in a that's-a-punishable-offense kind of way.  The simple fact is that someone did get hurt and you did that.  You chose to put your need to show off/be right/prove something before someone else's need to just exist in a happy kind of peace.  You knew it would hurt, but you decided your petty needs were greater.  No one is ever happy at the end of that.

This is an Instant Debbie Downer
app for your phone...oh my god.

Mary told me about a friend of hers who "starts every other sentence with 'I hate' and fills her Facebook page with snark and generally unkind comments."  Unsurprisingly, it's to her own detriment more than anyone else's.  I can think of one good reason why - everyone else probably just doesn't read it.  And you can always block someone's posts without "unfriending" them.  That kind of negativity eats away at the user.  This is nothing new.

What you put out there does matter.  Maybe it doesn't matter to the general population.  Shoot, maybe it only matters to your mom.  But it's bound to matter to someone other than you.  So post your political opinions, your rants and raves about traffic or a bad experience at the grocery store, or show off your new love interest even though you know the old one is on your friends list and still hurting.  But don't for one moment think that it's not going to effect anyone but you.  Furthermore, understand that most of the time, it is going to come back to you.  And you may not like the results.

A Different Kind of Food Challenge

One of the challenges I face every so often, because of all my moving around, is finding certain items I could find easily in some other place that I lived.  For example, buying salsa in California was never much of a challenge.  However, in Washington State people seem to love sweet and fruity salsas.  I may not go for the really spicy stuff, but I do not want peach or mango or sweetness at all in my salsa.  The worst part is that I keep forgetting that I can't just pick up a new salsa to try and trust that it won't be fruit-flavored.  Even if it doesn't say on the packaging that it's sweet, it usually is.

The biggest challenge when it comes to finding food that I've enjoyed can mostly be blamed on my time at Whole Foods Market in California.  As an administrative assistant, way back when, Way back when, I took care of all the vendor samples that came in.  And while it is fantastic to see that brands like Sukhi's Gourmet Indian Food and Laura's Wholesome Junk Food are doing so well, there are some things I fell in love with but could never find again.

I thought of two of those items today and decided to at least try to find them online.  The first was an apple-basil jelly that was divine on buttered toast.  All I could remember was that there were three women on the label.  I tried "Three Sisters," "apple basil butter" and "apple basil jam."  The simple search for "apple basil jelly" finally led me to The Prairie Gypsies.  And here is why you have to do the searching yourself - I recognized the shape of the jar and color of the label immediately.  I'd hate to spend $7 plus shipping on a jar of this stuff, but now that I know it's out there, for some reason I feel better.  Maybe someday I'll get some kind of bonus check on splurge on a few jars of it.

My second search was not quite as successful.  I think the brand may have been Don Pomodoro...it was definitely Don-something.  The product was semi-sundried tomatoes in oil.  The semi part is very important here - these tasted like no other dried tomatoes I'd ever had.  A slight sweetness and just a bit juicy.  My mom and I drooled over these, and finished off a jar together, many years ago.  I did find something close at ItalFoods, pomodorracio semi sundried tomato strips in oil.  Dean and Deluca has a similar product, though I'm not willing to spend $19 on a jar (not surprising for D and D, of course), and theirs are a specific variety of tomatoes I've never heard of.  Who knows, they could be better, but then I'd be addicted to something I really can't afford, so it's best not to look twice.

Still, this has me thinking about favorite things from long ago that I could easily find again with just a bit of online research.  Finding them in a local store (so I don't have to pay shipping) would be even better, but you have to start with the basics.  Knowing the correct name of the brand is definitely required.

So what about you?  Do you have any long-lost food loves that you fear may not be around anymore?  Or any that you know were discontinued?  If you haven't already checked, there is a site called Hometown Favorites that has a long list of disco'ed items on it.  In fact, my favorite marinara sauce (by Progresso) is on that list.  It's a good thing I know how to make my own now, lest my heart be permanently broken.

Landmarks and Lostness

I have finally admitted to myself that I have lived in too many places in too short a time.  I know this is a problem because as I'm learning new routes to and from various places (avoiding the freeway because of all the traffic), I try to remember landmarks and such...and I've started getting the Seattle area confused with all the other places I've lived.  And let me note here that none of these places look a damn thing alike.

It goes something like this (in my head):

If I turn left at that stoplight, it'll take me by the Lucky...   
No, wait, that's in Oakland (California).

 or

Okay, if I turn right here, I'll end up on the freeway...
No...no, wait, that was in Sterling (Virginia).

Sometimes it's really disappointing when I realize that I place I thought I'd go to on my day off doesn't exist in the state I currently live in - as much as I didn't love everything that California, North Carolina and the DC Metro Area had to offer.  Wherever you spend a lot of time, you're bound to find things that you won't even realize you're going to miss until you've left.

I do think that the hardest part is the simple confusion of trying to learn a place and having to get rid of all those old maps.  The ones that you created in your head, in order to get around those other places.

I've always done better with directions that list landmarks and I've realized this is now my downfall.  

I knew where to turn to get to my job in DC when I saw my friend Stacey's apartment building.  

I knew two ways to get home in North Carolina: the Food Lion way, and the WalMart way. 

And as much as I grew up in California (and therefore shouldn't have to worry about erasing those old maps, because they're so completely ingrained), my last visit to Oakland has been coming to mind way too much because the city had changed a lot when I finally returned to it.  I made a huge a effort to figure out where I was during my last visit, based on old landmarks (Lake Merritt, Arizmendi, Geo Kaye's, IKEA), while noting new ones (Blue Bottle Coffee, Portal, Bar Three Fifty-Five).  And damn me all to hell for that -  I'm even more confused now that I'm back in Seattle.  It's even worse when it gets dark - which is one thing that Washington state and Virginia have in common - very little in the way of street lights.  Why would is such a dark, rainy place almost devoid of street lamps to light our way?!  

I still love it here.

In Honor of Procrastination

In honor of not doing things in a timely manner, I'm using yesterday's writing prompt for today's post.  Since I didn't post at all yesterday, it's even better.

Friday, January 3, 2014
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate, or do you like checking things off your to-do list?

I go back and forth between sticking to my to-do lists and feeling excellent about getting lots of stuff done AND procrastinating on whole lists of things because I just don't wanna.  Sometimes it's just one thing.  For example, it took me several days to actually start my first knitting project.  I had to force myself to pick up the needles and yarn, turn on the Craftsy video and really try.  I'm glad I did it, but I had to convince myself and boy did I find a ton of things to do to avoid it.

The funny thing about procrastination is that you always know, going into it, that you're just making your life more difficult.  And yet, so many of us keep doing it anyway.

That said, I still have to vacuum.  

Danger Danger

The theme for January's NaBloPoMo on BlogHer is PRESSURE.  I think it's pretty funny, considering that we've just left the most pressure-filled time of year.  Pressure to get all your shopping done.  Pressure to meet the expectations of family and friends.  Pressure to make deadlines at work, despite the holiday craziness.  Your blood-pressure rising because of all the traffic and lines and chaos.  I honestly feel like here, now, just after midnight on New Year's Eve, I finally feel the pressure breaking.  Sweet, sweet relief.

January marks new beginnings for everyone, of course.  For me, it has long been the month I have to make a few decisions about my life.  I gave myself till January to figure out how to make things work with two jobs.  I gave myself till now to figure out if I could stay in the Pacific Northwest.  And if I can keep working in retail.

I haven't made all the decisions yet.  Luckily, the month isn't over yet.  But I did make one important decision.  I decided to resign from one of my jobs.  A few months ago, it would have been hard to choose between them.  But the holidays showed me which one would be more stable for me, which would provide better, and which would offer more opportunities in the future.  Thus, my time with Lush ends mid-January.

I have been a fan of Lush for many years now.  And leaving the company will not lessen my love of the products.  I will truly miss seeing the people I've had the pleasure of working with, both at my current store and those I got to see every so often at training.  But, the moment I gave my notice, I felt that bubble of pressure in my chest burst.

I don't know how people manage two jobs in the same field.  I honestly thought my two would balance each other out, but they actually proved to be too much together.  I was tired all through the holidays, I had very little time to myself and when I got sick right before Christmas, it hit me hard.  I really think I am getting too old for this.  But that's okay, it helped me make a firm decision and it will help me figure things out from here on out.  Maybe my theme for this year should be reducing pressure in all aspects of my life.

The Rut of the Glut

Doing more with less is this month's NaBloPoMo theme on BlogHer.  And though I've barely had a chance to contribute to it, this theme couldn't be a more perfect way for me to end this year.

As of this December, it has been two years since I left a job that provided financial stability in order to pursue a bit of happiness.  It has also been two years of seriously lean-living.  I have made an effort to occasionally buy myself something nice, but most of the time I have just enough to make ends meet (and even then I make a lot of compromises).  I do not say this regretfully, though.  Hard as it has felt, I feel like I have improved myself quite a bit.  When our habits are so commonplace, it's hard to see gluttony for what it is.

There are things I have learned to live without, like cable TV.  I think it's a complete ripoff and there is a lot of free programming out there.

There are things I have realized I never needed, like a different skincare or makeup item every month when I hadn't used up the last of a similar item.  (Sephora must miss me.)  Not to mention this need we have for the newest, shiniest, prettiest thing is silly and detrimental in so many ways.

There are things I discovered I could do differently, like cooking more and really emptying all the cupboards before getting more groceries.


I guess I'm just one of those people who has to learn everything the hard way.  I've met a lot of people in the past two years who have never thought twice about simple living.  I have also realized how wasteful a lot of people are, including some I know well and have even lived with.  The amount of spoiled food at one house I lived in was soul-crushing.  But you can't force other people to understand something they don't find important.  What is amazing is that I finally realized it for myself.  And I've barely even scratched the surface.

It's funny because excess was something I always did well.  I never felt like I had enough money and I always wanted to buy everything.  I just couldn't see how spoiled I was.  Buying more really just meant throwing more away later.  Food that spoiled, clothes that never got worn, cosmetics that I eventually gave away (at least they didn't all go in the trash), and money down the drain on countless dining out experiences that went from being something fun and special to the expected norm.


I like going to the grocery store these days.  Every time I have this challenge to make complete meals by knowing what I have at home and figuring out what components might work with those things.  When I run out of free stuff to watch on my computer, I read a book.  Or I break out my latest craft project.  On the rare occasion I get to buy clothes, it's honestly not a lot of fun, but I come home with things that I know I'll wear and even wear often.  I don't have the buyer's remorse that so many people are probably suffering from right now.

In addition to not really being able to afford new clothes (I've actually started wearing through a few things, which I'm pretty sure never happened before), I have the advantage of some crafting skills.  I've learned to sew by hand well enough to fix the occasional tear in clothes that are otherwise still wearable.  And I've learned to crochet, which has not only covered my own accessory needs, but given me the ability to make gifts for other people.  Now, here you run into the problem of the cost of yarn, which I hear about all the time.  I just happen to be fortunate enough to have a mother who left a lot of yarn behind when she moved out of the country.  I haven't bought a skein of yarn the entire time I've been crocheting.  Of course, that will change and so may my thoughts on the matter.  We shall see.


My mom also bought me a knitting class on Craftsy and the tools I'll need to make that happen.  So maybe I'll be able to knit myself a sweater by next winter.  ...Maybe.  Either way, gone are the days of binge shopping at Old Navy, then realizing half the clothes I bought don't fit right, but still hanging them in my closet for months on end, avoiding them every time I look for something to wear.

There are lots of ways to lead a more simple life and, again, I've just started paring down my own.  But I think we all could do with a bit of simplifying.  Sometimes it's as simple as recognizing that turning the heat up to 74 degrees in your house so you can wear shorts and a tank top is a little excessive.  Then again, some of you will have already made a lot of changes.  And so, for you, I recommend checking out things like foraging and maintaining your own garden and/or animals - my friend Wendy is part of this amazing blog about homesteading.  Sometimes it's just about finding what will work in your life, starting small, then taking the next step when you can.

Happy New Year!  May your lives be simpler in many ways in 2014.