The Silence Stops Now

A friend of mine posted a link to an article the other day that inspired this post.  Part of the inspiration was about things being said that really needed to be, but that no one wants to talk about or even acknowledge.  The other part of it was that I found the article so hostile and raw (which is absolutely appropriate for the site that it's posted on) that I wanted to address it in such a way as to reach those people who might turn away from something so strongly worded.  

When it comes to sexism and harassment there are so many lines that could be crossed.  And those lines do differ from person to person (we are certainly each allowed our own boundaries).  Some women feel that the majority of men they interact with are trying to get something out of them.  Some women think that any act of courtesy, like opening a door for a woman, is misogyny.  And then some women think that the rest of those women are crazy banshees who should stop complaining.  And, unfortunately, some women attack anyone who tries to point out that there is a great imbalance between the sexes.    

Allow me to take the middle ground here.  I do not feel it is necessary to reprimand every person who invades my personal space or attempts to demand my attention.  I prefer to be diplomatic when I can and get along with everyone as much as possible.  At the same time, I do have my boundaries and I am not afraid to enforce them.  I believe that both boys and girls should be raised to be assertive, to stand up for themselves as well as others, and to have respect for people who are not like them, whether that means of a different gender, a different race, a different religion - you get the idea.  

I do not want to lessen anything that Amanda Marcotte wrote in It's Really Time for the Harassment to End.  Although maybe I am compromising too much of myself, maybe I'm using diplomacy when I should be suckerpunching people (not that she's saying that).  I'm fairly certain that's how most of the men I know would respond to some of the things I've experienced.

FINDING YOUR VOICE

When I was younger I didn't have the skills or the internal strength to fight back or walk away.  And whether they meant to or not, there were men who treated me in a way that made me fearful.  Now I am stronger and wiser, and possess at least some skills to deal with uncomfortable or unpleasant situations.  But I recognize that not every person feels strong enough to stand up for themselves and I do not think less of them for it.  Those of us who have strong voices would do well to use them when we see that others don't or can't.

TOXIC PERSONALITIES

I wrote recently about "trolling."  It remains a great fear in the back of my mind and when I see other bloggers dealing with it, I step in and help them wherever I can.  I hope that they will continue blogging, but I also understand why people get sick of it.  It is abuse, plain and simple.  It serves no constructive purpose and is harmful to everyone who comes into contact with it.  They benefit no one and they discourage those who haven't found their voice yet from ever finding it.  I suppose that's exactly what trolls are aiming for.  And I cannot begin to understand what makes a person want to be so toxic.

BEYOND THE DAY TO DAY

Aside from the day to day attempts we make to find balance in a world where too many people feel that their gender/sexual orientation/religion/etcetera should dominate and control, there are some very serious issues that get completely ignored.  I'd like to encourage everyone reading this post to check out the Facebook pages for Stop the Worldwide War on Girls and their new sister site, The Silence Stops Now.  Both pages provide information about abuse and violence that women suffer.  Neither are meant to tear down men.  They are about respect.  Equality.  Peace.  Understanding.  Making the world a better place for everyone.  These are the things we should be striving for.

A Breath of Fresh Kick-Ass

After reading the first Fifty Shades book, it was a breath of fresh air to go back to reading fiction with strong female characters in the lead, often with a partner-in-crime to equal their awesomeness.  Not every book I read has a strong girl or woman in the forefront of the story, but looking at my bookshelves, I realize how often I'm drawn to just that (thanks, Mom).  Twilight was one of my notable exceptions, but Meg made the argument during a discussion today that at least Bella comes into her own by the end of the story.  


I'd like to share a little something with you.  Here is my quick list of female characters in fiction who I might not necessarily want to be just like, but I'd certainly leap at the chance to be friends with.  Some were created during a time when women weren't allowed to vote or own property, some were created in the past decade, but all of them are the kind of role models I would like the little girls I know to have in their lives.  In other words, females who kick ass with their brawn or their brains, regardless of the size of their role in the story.

Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Persuasion may be my favorite Austen novel, but quick-witted Lizzie is still my favorite Austen character, and the kind of woman I'd want to know if I lived in that period.  She may be headstrong and a bit judgmental, but she isn't afraid to speak her mind and does her best to be true to herself while remaining diplomatic (with the exception of dealing with a certain someone).  Lizzie loves to read, loves knowledge and loves her family.  She is passionate and brilliant and can hold her own, regardless of her verbal sparring partner's rank or gender.

    

Alexia Tarabotti from The Parasol Protectorate Series by Gail Carriger
Alexia is a model of decorum despite being an oddity and an outcast in some circles.  She's got mad curves in a time when girls fainted from the combination of corsets and lack of food, and she's terribly practical.  On occasion she may have to use muscle, but most of the time she can solve a problem with that gorgeous brain of hers or some fabulous steampunk weaponry.  She's also a bit of a fruit fly and I really love that about her.  Oh, and I mustn't forget, **spoiler alert** when she does find her perfect match, he is truly her equal and loves her for being intelligent, strong and curvaceous.

Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
Hermione may be too much of a perfectionist for her own good, but she really is brilliant and she is one fierce young lady.  Loyal, practical and compassionate, she is exactly the girl you'd want around in a crisis (or just on your side, in general) and really develops throughout this series, becoming more flexible about imperfections and rule-breaking.  Also, she has my hair.

  

Maggie Quinn from Maggie Quinn: Girl Vs. Evil by Rosemary Clement-Moore
Maggie is a whole lot of sass in a small, Irish package.  Smart, snarky and creative, Maggie fights evil with a psychic gift, her wits and a friend or two, but little else.  I haven't met a major character Clement-Moore has created that I didn't like, to be honest.  But Maggie was the first one I adored and I'd be her Lisa any day.

Harriet M. Welsch from Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
Harriet was my first role model from fiction (explains a lot, doesn't it?) and I will probably end up with a daughter just like her.  She may be quirky and independent, but Harriet has a wealth of character flaws.  What makes her so fabulous, aside from being such a wonderful troublemaker, is that here was a young female protagonist who I could relate to, in all her individuality and wildness.  Which meant that I, too, could learn to recognize when I was wrong and be brave enough to say so, regardless of the reaction I would get.  But the most important aspect of this character for me was that she was always, unapologetically herself.

Did I leave your favorite off the list?  Does anyone have a favorite kick ass female character written by a male author?  I realize how limited my selection was just based on that, so I'd love to get some recommendations - from any genre.