Who Do You Want To Be?

It’s not just an Oingo Boingo song – it’s a question many of us ask ourselves over and over again throughout life. 

Some of us envy those folks who figured everything out when they were still kids, but even they sometimes discover an entirely different path later in life.  Sometimes it’s hard to remember that getting paid is not the sole function of work.  You will hear dozens of people throughout your life say that work is not supposed to be something you love.  That your passion should be kept as a hobby so that you can thoroughly enjoy it, no pressure. 

Will it change the way you feel about, say, baking if you do it for a living?  Yes, it won’t be that thing you just do when you feel like it and for only your own enjoyment.  But will you honestly regret doing something that you are both passionate about and good at for the rest of your life?  Maybe that makes a difference you, maybe it doesn’t.  In my experience, if I don’t like what I’m doing, all the money in the world isn’t going to make a difference.    

If you are thinking of finding a new career, then consider this.  Is it going to be easy?  Not at the beginning, no .  But take a look around you and ask yourself how many people in your life are doing jobs that they really love.  Work that may frustrate and stress them out sometimes, but that they still look forward to on all those other days.  Why shouldn’t you have a job that you personally find meaningful and rewarding?  And don’t let anyone define that for you. 

If your perfect job is working the sales floor in retail, maybe for a company you have long admired, then go for it.  If your perfect job is working as a clerk in what other people think is a boring environment, it doesn’t really matter what they think.  And, hey, if you decide to give up your huge government salary because you’ve decided that the stress isn’t worth it and you’ve decided to take up farming, you are far from the first person to have done so – in fact, in the DC area you are in good company.  

The idea that not everybody can live their dream is a sad, oppressive one (and likely limited by what many people consider a worthy dream).  Don’t let other people’s small ideas of how the world should work keep you down.  

Leap

Just a wee followup to Stumbling is Still Moving Forward:

I have found that when you do decide to finally take the plunge and make a drastic change in your life, should you be doubting yourself or your decision shortly thereafter, the universe has a way of letting you know that you need to shut that doubt down.  My car broke down yesterday morning, though I couldn't have broken down in a lovelier place.  Still, I had a lot of worries and this didn't help.  But, instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I sat down at the auto repair shop to write and noticed they had the April issue of Health Magazine (which I don't usually read, since I'm not healthy).  I got some writing done on the most recent Black Thumb post, then flipped through Health and came upon the article pictured to the right.  Okay, I get it.

Stumbling is Still Moving Forward

Cherry Blossoms for Adrianna

Change, for most people, is scary.  It is often difficult, in the moment, to see any good that comes from it.  When it has just happened, when you’re living in the aftermath and cleaning up the mess, it is really hard to paste a smile on your face and tell yourself that it’s just great.  Usually it’s long down the road that you realize a catastrophe was a blessing in disguise because it led you to something even better. 

Even when change is completely up to you, there are those heart-racing moments.  You may worry that you’re not doing it right.  Or wonder if you will regret leaving something or someone behind.  Who hasn’t left a relationship and had at least some doubts as to whether or not you were making the right decision?  Will you miss that person?  Will you regret it later?  Will it be hard seeing them with someone else?  But then you also have to consider that waiting until things get worse isn’t exactly a great option.

Change, with or without your having put it in motion, can be hard.  But the hardest thing you’ll ever do is trying to keep change at bay.  The less you welcome it, the more it will overwhelm you.  And fighting it, tooth and nail, usually just hurts you more.  Change is inevitable.  Take a deep breath.

From Small Scale to Big Heavy

“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb 

Small changes tend to be easy to make.  Changing your daily routine to include more exercise or switching from that latte you order every morning to a nice black tea to cut down your caffeine intake.  Whether slightly painful or slightly joyous, they are a normal part of life.

Big changes tend to be more painful.  In most cases you have to carefully balance the pros and cons, check that your motivation is clear and jump, hoping that the net will catch you.  If you have any doubts or fears, you could end up doing this mental balancing for days, weeks, maybe even months – always fearing that leap.  It is, indeed, a leap of faith.  And the truth is that there is a chance that the net may not be there.  You may have to get up off the ground, dust yourself off, and try again. 

“Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury

The Art of Reinvention

Ah yes, full scale reinvention.  At once terrifying and so terribly exciting, so energizing, invigorating, that while you’re considering it you’re thinking that you must be crazy and you’re laughing maniacally all the way.  Reinvention is not just about finding your  place, your people, your path in life.  It’s about finding yourself.  And about accepting who you really are and living every day like you mean it.  

Let me say again how utterly terrifying it is to some of us to live as both a new version of ourselves (which is to say, new to others) and also the person who we know has been there all along.

“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” –A.A. Milne