Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Thing About Spiders

The thing about spiders is that even those of us who are terrified of them forget they exist once in a while, except as some ghostly memory.  It's when you find one in your house that you are reminded that they could be ANYWHERE.  And it's so much worse when said visitor is the size of a freaking silver dollar.

So, should this happen to you and totally creep you out, do not (I repeat, DO NOT) go online to look it up.  It is only going to make things worse.  Especially if you type in "spider identification," because then you're shown a ton of creepy crawlies that are much too large to be hanging out in your house, dammit, especially the Hunstmen Spider which, on the site that I found, wiggles.  Why does it have to wiggle?  Just imagine...yeah, it scared the crap out of me.

So now my skin is crawling, I'm convinced there is a host of huge ass spiders somewhere in my cupboards and I almost threw up while doing research for this post.  Just a little.  And yet, I find it curious that, up until I noticed my creepy visitor on a bag in my kitchen, I had kind of forgotten about creepy crawlies.  I think some part of my mind decided that I just could not handle that knowledge and struck it from memory.  Which made it even more of a shock when I realized that they not only exist, they could be anywhere in my apartment.  I could come across one while unpacking a box.  I could be bitten by one in my sleep.  I could be accidentally letting one in every time I open my door.  

My eyes are getting huger with every sentence I write and I'm practically hyperventilating.

I have to go now.

I think I have some whiskey somewhere...


  1. Good idea. Get the spider drunk! :D

    1. Oh...yeah, wish I'd thought of that BEFORE I killed it, then hopped around screeching for a few minutes in my kitchen. I can always use a drinking time.

  2. Replies
    1. Dammit, Meg! I named this post so you wouldn't look at it! What were you thinking?!

  3. BFF used her bed as a trampoline so she coud get high enough with the swiffer to kill the spider on the ceiling. She fractured her ankle on the landing!

    My freak out is ants (just blogged about it today as a matter of fact), so I tend to let the spiders stay if they are going to help with the any problem and stay out pf my face and food.

    I stupidly followed the spider identification link above. AAAUUUUUUUUGGGHH! it moved!

    1. First, I could never EVER use a Swiffer to get to a spider - I'm convinced the thing would crawl down it and attack me. Or crawl down it and try to get away, which I would interpret as attacking me because I'm so scared of them and their crazy effing legs and how they move totally creeps me out ((big breath)).

      Second, spiders are trying to kill us and will evidently start by incapacitating the ankles.

      Also, I don't love ants, but I'd rather deal with them then spiders. Or potato bugs. Or earwigs. Or roaches. Or silverfish. Oh, the list goes on.

      Finally, I hate that stupid Hunstman Spider!!!! So messed up!


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