Saturday, July 20, 2013

Meg, Don't Read This Post

Spiders.  When you choose to live in a ground-level dwelling, you understand that you may deal with a few.  When you find out that your new apartment is partially submerged in the earth and you are now a mole-person, you must accept that you will be battling at least one decent-sized spider a day and will probably encounter larger ones here and there.  Case in point:
Alive with dead body of other spider....dead thanks to Charles
Growing up in Northern California, I was already familiar with Black Widow and Brown Recluse Spiders.  We saw plenty of the lovely black ladies and knew to avoid them when possible and always kill or remove them if they were inside our house.  I never actually saw a Brown Recluse, but we knew to keep an eye out for them.  Of the three large spiders who are dangerous to humans on the West Coast, the only one I'd never heard of was the Hobo Spider.  I am very sorry to inform myself that they are extremely common in ground floor dwellings in the Pacific Northwest and that they are considered aggressive biters.  I've now met two possible hobos, if I've identified them correctly (which my neighbor, who was bitten by one in her bed, confirms), and it's not even mating season yet.

More bad news, the more I read about the Giant House Spider (ugh), the more I think the one from last night was not a Hobo Spider.  But don't worry, the one in my apartment was!  And then here I read that it's almost impossible to tell them apart unless you look very close.

I want to cry right now.  Or move out of my apartment.  Only one is a realistic option.

I spent most of my day, yesterday, reorganizing my apartment and figuring out what could go in my outside storage closet.  I had a plan, I knew what was going to go where, and then I opened the closet, turned on the light and found that huge, scary spider hanging out in the doorway.  Thankfully, he or she had not constructed a web in that area...yet.  I decided that I would have to overcome my total creeped-out-ed-ness and get my boxes into storage anyway.  And then, after the spider and I repeatedly freaked each other out, I went to my neighbor's and asked if they had anything that would kill a large spider.

Luckily for me, my neighbor Charles kills them with his bare hands.  I suppose this is what happens when you live with four females.  Thank god for Charles.

Unluckily for me, even dead this spider scares the crap out of me.  Something so large should not be able to move so quickly and how do I know spiders don't become zombies?

In any case, I have now ordered Hobo Spider traps, because I don't think it's okay to keep making Charles come over to take care of them for me.  I first considered the Bugzooka, which is a way of trapping and then releasing them again.  Then I realized that there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to deal with even a spider trapped in a plastic tube.

I also discovered this morning, with a much smaller spider, that you shouldn't swing your killing device from too far away, lest you make the body of the spider airborne.  In your bedroom.  And then are not able to find it.

I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

And leaving the state for the month of September...which is mating season.

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